The Oscars 2013 - Part 2: Getting There

The car was supposed to pick us up around 2.30 pm. Of course, Susanna (the colleague with whom I was sharing the experience and the hotel room) and I, were late. Everything was a disaster: the pedicure, the make-up, the dresses. Why we didn’t have anybody to help us? The miraculous cream Susanna talked to me about, producing such a nice effect on her, on my face was looking like collapsing wallpaper. Nothing was working the way we wanted, but in the end, somehow, we managed to be presentable and we finally got off the hotel to go into our car. 
Our car was the biggest black limousine ever produced and there was enough space for 10 people, not to mention the nice bar, fully equipped, and our super nice driver, George. 

Once picked up our Boss at his hotel we headed towards the Dolby Theatre, and while I was in the car (for far too long, for my taste) I was just going crazy because I couldn't simply wait any longer for the whole thing to happen. Basta -  I feel like screaming - I want to be at the Oscars NOW! 
After an infinite time, we arrived in Hollywood Boulevard, that was actually partially closed for the event. Only Limousines were allowed to get there. Few meters before the theatre, there was the weirdest demonstration I had ever seen. No, I had actually already seen something like that in an episode of Six Feet Under, many years ago: men and women of all ages were showing us signs where they were basically announcing us that we (meaning actors, film-makers, people involved in the show business in general) were a bunch of fornicators and God despised us so much that we will all end up in hell. Well, guys, if Daniel Day Lewis, Jeremy Irons and Michael Fassbender are going to be there, I just want to be part of that club. Thanks very much.

And then we finally got there:

A big Oscar statue was welcoming us: we had to follow a path that was leading us inside the theatre: 

It was the “check-point”, where you had to show your ticket and your passport. And it was there I realized that, of course, there are two kinds of Red Carpet. One is for the stars, and the other one for the rest of us (why I didn’t have access to the stars one is still a mystery to me…). 
When we arrived, the only two stars available were Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones (not exactly my cup of tea). It was the craziest place on earth: big, warm lights were irradiating the carpet and they were so strong you could barely stand under them. Besides that, the public at the balconies on both sides of the carpet, was screaming so, so much. 
I really thought: Ok, that’s it, I officially am at the Oscar night! 
The only problem with the Red Carpet is that you can’t really stand there. Security people politely ask you to move, to keep going, and you are actually quite happy to do so, because you can’t see anything and the shouting all around is just too loud.

Then you are at the entrance of the theatre: there is a long corridor and monumental stairs that lead you into the place. The corridor was already full of dressed up men and women taking pictures and looking for stars. 

 Of course, I did the same. Actually, since Susanna and my Boss wanted to get inside, I walked around by myself for at least 30 minutes, hoping to see somebody I liked. It was then that I bumped for the first time into an actor that, for some strange reasons, I kept bumping into for the whole night (till the point he was looking at me in an inquisitive way: do I know you???). His name is Jason Clarke, and he has a major role in Zero Dark Thirty by Kathryn Bigelow. Cute guy, actually, and he was by himself too, but I suddenly remembered to have read somewhere that he was from Queensland, Australia, and I simply preferred to miss my chance (sorry, guys, bloggers have their personal issues too):

Anyway, my heart was already broken: Malik Bendjelloul, the director of the documentary Searching for Sugar Man, to whom I was secretly wishing to make a love declaration (both for the wonderful movie and for, let’s say, less artistic reasons), showed up with a stunningly gorgeous girlfriend at his arm, leaving me without any hope. Damn!

And before I had time for more, they announced that the ceremony was about to start and that everybody should get inside. So I rushed into the theatre, looking for a glass of champagne, and for my seat...

... and in case you’re wondering what kind of smiling and happy face I had in the car that was getting me to the Oscar Night, well, dear readers, here it is:

And to give you an idea of the Red Carpet: